The most beautiful female assassin scene... of any kind?
We can't make up our minds.
So we've divided the girl-meets-boy, girl-seduces-boy,
girl-kills-boy story into sub-genres...
built around the weapon or method of choice.
We're wonderfully humble — so if you have
a genre or a scene you think we've left out —
or you simply disagree with the rankings —
please drop us a note. We'll gladly post any
replies of reasonably literate quality.
Sincere thanks — Max
Note: Images and brief quotations on these pages
Appear without express permission under the Fair Use doctrine
For purposes of political and social discussion. - Ed.
The Femme Fatale Anthem —
Lullabies for the disposable male
One of our fatale-femme group members suggested a tribute to the femme fatale anthems of cinema, nominating his own choice in an excellent essay on Dolores Gray and her "Thanks a lot but no thanks" — in which, by our count, several dozen males meet their maker in a little over two minutes. Click here to read about Ms. Gray, and watch her, while the Myspace link lasts — and click here for part two of the series, a crisp tribute to Cyd Charisse's "Hello-I'll-be-your-assassin-for-the-evening" song and dance in The Silencers. Future entries likely to include Gwen Verdon, "Whatever Lola Wants" and "A little brains," and of course, Quinn O'Hara's "Don't try to fight it baby." Or if you've already picked your poisoness, you can click here to cast a vote for the anthem of your choice.
Guns and Garters —
Fonda, Fairchild, and more
It wasn't easy to find our most fatal gun girl. Among the nominees are such high-calibre hitladies as double-nominee Morgan Fairchild (Time Bomb, The Seduction), surrogate-mom cum psycho-killer Bridgette Wilson (Sweet Evil), Famke Jansen (Goldeneye), bullet-kissing Zoe Tamerlis (Ms. 45), gun-gartered Theresa Russell (nearby, in Avenging Angel), and the father-avenging Jane Fonda (Cat Ballou). We finally settled in on a hitlady whose velvet-gloved elegance brings a look of hopeless adoration, to the eyes of her well-acted victim, who seems almost to embrace his death at her hands. Lots of gals worth a hole in your chest in our runners-up catetory, here, but for the gun girl category, the silver bullet is.... here.
She's Poison —
Elke to Uma to...
"This is the shit that killed you," a sexy Jaime Pressly informs her next male sacrifice — just before she injects him with a fatal overdose in the third installment of Poison Ivy. But even for the dominatrix-clad Ms. Pressley, there's much competition in the poison category, from letal-lipsticked Lee Purcell and colleagues in an obscure but sexy episode of A Man Called Sloane, to Virginia Mayo, dispatching with Anthony as Cleopatra in She's Working Her Way through College. Then there's pop-star Britney Spears, whose comeback we continue to predict — seductively pouring a green potion into her entranced lover in the music video Toxic. And Poison Ivy — as portrayed by the elegant Uma Thurman in the cinema's modern Batman series.
You can read about these ladies, though, in the honorable mention category — here — given that the winner of this highly competitive category is.... here.
Making the cut —
Girls that slice your heart out
This choice we expect to be controversial. After all, one must either bypass Sharon Stone in the electric opening frams of Basic Instinct — or GoGo Yubari, who delivers a femme fatalism for the ages — "perhaps it is I who have penetrated you" — as she ends the life of a clumsy pickup artist at the bar in Kill Bill's part two. And then there's Camille Keaton, Hedy Lamarr — and Susan Lucci's feline insertion of her stiletto — disguised as a hairpin — a bit less athletic, but perhaps, more quintessentially feminine... a flick of her pretty wrist ending the life of a mafia kingpin. Honorable mentions, here, followed by our humble nomination for humbly nominate... the winner.
"Falling for her" —
Verdon, Channing, Sommer...
"I told him I was through and he jumped out the window... 22nd story," the vamp Lola recounts for her boss, just before launching into a musical review of the men she's brought to ruin Damn Yankees. But even if Lola wants our award, Lola gets competition.
We could easily take the plunge for the lovely Sinistra (Ghost in the Invisible Bikini) or for Joan Collins's Siren in the Batman television series. Stockard Channing's role in The Girl Most Likely also merits mention, as she takes an overconfident jock who one spurned her on a parachuteless skydive.
As in so many categories, Elke Sommer, aptly cast in Deadlier Than the Male, makes her own bid for her creative dispatching of corporate board opponent Mr. Bridgenorth, drugging him and describing his death before rolling him off his penthouse balcony. "I've had men fall for me before," she notes, "but never like this." Honorable mentions are here, but for true lemmings, the cliff is over here.
All choked up —
Death by bags, ropes, belts, and nylons
Where to start, where to finish... We have Agnes Brown, as the cold assassin Sara Penny in How to Succeed at Murder, executing a perfect stocking-garotte maneuver on her entranced victim. Cheri Cafaro (Too Hot to Handle) and Cornelia Sharpe (The Next Man) both make elegant use of plastic bags to off their contracts... and enjoy their work, with Cafaro ironically inhaling a cigarette as she watches a male take his last breaths, while Sharpe touches herself in a sexy shower before returning to make use of her cleaning skills. Gina Gershon, Camille Keaton, and others round out the honor role, here. But the girl who truly seems to take our breath away is... here.
Exotic device —
Ursula Andress in The Tenth Victim
Somehow there's no point in even trying to be coy about this one. Yes, there's Elke Sommer's lovely exploding-cigar-out-of-the-garter kill. And one finds bikinis and panties used as garottes in a few action-genre pieces. But the sexiest kill by an unorthodox or exotic device — and the act of sexecution voted the most alluring among our readers, albeit by a narrow margin — is Ursula Andress with her dominatrixical dance of death in the opening scene of The Tenth Victim. Read our analysis here, and don't forget to check out the lovely account from our friends at WOm-WAm.net, here.
YOU DON'T SEE your favorite above? We'd be happy to take your suggestions for genres, or particular scenes, provided you can write something that puts forward a reasonable aesthetic and is fairly persuasive as to the case in point. Just drop us an email. You do know how to email, dontcha, Steve?
Text, articles copyright © 2007-2009 DieForHer.com unless noted -
Images and citations appear under the doctrine of fair use
for the purposes of political and literary discussion.
Special thanks to WOm-WAm.net and Peter Femex.
Questions? Please feel free to contact us.
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